When Urkel twat swats Laura, she kicks him out of her life for good (sic). But will she still feel that way when she’s old and alone?
Eddie enlists Urkel to help a girl pass a math test, but is enraged when Urkel also teaches her to respect herself.
When Eddie is beat up by a local gang, the Urkman goes undercover to try and bring them down.
Like another Chicago basketball legend, Steve gets cut from the basketball team prematurely.
Steve creates a robot to try and win a science competition, so naturally it tries to murder him.
When Carl kills Steve’s prized pet stick-bug, the whole family gets dragged into court.
In a bit of role reversal for both of them, Urkel is stalked by a giant Hawaiian woman, while Laura stalks Carl’s new partner.
Carl says some “hurtful” words to Urkel, who responds by beating the hell out of him in his sleep.
Carl has to do errands for Lieutenant Murtaugh’s (because police reasons?), and Urkel ruins the school play by being himself.
Carl tries to fix something that’s broken in his house (seriously? again?), and Urkel uses SCIENCE to deal with a rival for Laura’s affections.
Urkel and the gang monkey around, while things down at the station get explosive for Carl.
In the Season Two finale, Carl struggles to come to terms with the death of a man he was trying to protect, while Urkel tricks Laura into going on a date with him.
In a dream, Urkel becomes “Two-Gun Urkel,” the fastest gunslinger in the West. Also, Carl casually shoots a gun in the direction of his mother.
Murtaugh and Urkel both get shot down by their respective lady loves, so they sing a song about it.
Harriette and Rachel receive a blast from the past, and Urkel gets in touch with his inner animal.
Steve has been doing all of Eddie’s homework (because of course he has), and Carl goes on a ten day stakeout with LT Murtaugh.
Carl tries and fails to fix something in his house (again), and the rest of the episode gets very racist, very quickly.
In a special Thanksgiving bonus episode of Only Urkel Matters, Jaleel White teaches Bea Arthur to do the Urkel Dance. I don’t think I need to think of a clever description this week, because what I just typed is insane.
Eddie gets into yet another fender bender, so Urkel takes him to an underground casino to raise the money to fix it. Also, Carl desecrates a family member’s remains.
Steve shows his friends a dance that he made up, which eventually causes a thirty-one year-old man to start writing Family Matters blogs.
